The only answer online is "nvm, fixed it" from 2011. Now what?
Twelve fixes. Nobody will post them.
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SPECIMEN No. 029 · Deflection technology
The Support Chatbot
A friendly assistant that resolves 60% of tickets, measured as the share of customers who gave up.
📈 Proliferating- 🏠 Habitat
- The bottom-right corner of every pricing page
- 🦈 Natural predator
- Typing "human" four times
- 🤒 Common symptom
- Did this answer your question?
THE DEBATE
The room is split
If the whole team walked into the review, who would reach for The Support Chatbot, and who would push back.
💖 Would reach for it
TaylorThe AI Native“Most tickets are the same twenty questions, and an instant answer at 2am beats a human tomorrow.”
PatThe Enterprise Adult“A vendor bot deflects the predictable load, and the support team's headcount stays where it is.”
MayaThe Visionary“A bot with a personality turns the most boring corner of the product into one people talk about.”
🛑 Would push back
NoraThe User Advocate“A chat that ends because someone gave up looks identical to one where they were helped.”
MorganThe Threat Modeler“A bot that can issue refunds can be talked into issuing refunds, by anyone who types politely.”
ChrisThe Sovereign“A vendor bot means every customer conversation now lives on someone else's servers, under their pricing.”
FIELD REPORTS
No field report yet
This species has been catalogued but not yet observed in a comic. It is on the story backlog.
TAKES
Everyone's take on it